Saturday, July 15, 2006

Hot Sports Wife/Ex/Girlfriend of the Day


May we present...

The ex-Mrs. Jeff Bagwell!!

She went Wie, Wie, Wie all the way home

Is it just me or do pro athletes that are not doing very well seem to have a higher propensity for "quitting" due to an injury or illness more often than when things are going well?

From ABC News --

Wie Suffers Heat Exhaustion, Withdraws

Not that I am questioning her honesty, well, yes I am...sort of. But her withdrawing and feeling sick wouldn't have had anything to do with the fact that she was completely out of her element and embarassing herself at this tournament?

She was 2-over on the day and 8-over for the tournament when she withdrew. The second round leader was 10-under, 18 strokes ahead of her and she only played 27 holes versus the leader's 36. This notion of her playing on the men's tour is ridiculous. The girl is just 16-years-old and is getting HORRIBLE advice. One would think that perhaps she should show a little dominance on the women's tour before her taking on the men.

This wasn't even a big tournament. It was the John Deere Classic in the Quad Cities of Illinois and Iowa (If you know the four Quad Cities and aren't from Illinois or Iowa, then you really know your geography.). This was her fifth attempt to make a men's tour event. If those who care about her have any sense, they will tell her to concentrate on the women's tour, get really good there, then try to make a cut a men's event. Annika freaking Sorenstam, the robot women's golfer, couldn't make a men's cut, so why does she at age 16 think she can?

I know it was hot (I live near there), but c' are playing GOLF. A quote on ABC said "she gutted out the rest of the front nine." Gutted out the front nine?! Didn't she have any water or an umbrella for shade? Nine holes of golf for a professional, shouldn't put you down with heat exhaustion, unless you know, you are kind of stinking up the joint after showing how cool you are being in an event you don't really belong in in the first place.

In closing, my favorite quote was from one of her playing partners, who obviously felt a lot of pity for Michelle, "She just said, 'I'm going to withdraw,' which was good because she was holding us up again," said Jeff Gove, who finished at 1-over 143 and missed the cut by three strokes. "I saw she was hurting, but she never said anything," Gove said. "And she was walking real slow, which I thought was inconsiderate again because we're trying to keep up. If we get on the clock again, that's painful."

Link Before You Drink

"War Eagle!"

From heaven to hell, ruling shocks Italy (Reuters UK)
Bonds' Ex-Friend May Affect Jury Probe (Washington Post)
For Some Athletes, Courses With No Classes (NY Times)
Owens misquoted in own autobiography (CBS Sportsline)
Largent's son indicted on sex charges (FOX Sports)
Captain of Harvard Football Team Suspended (Chicago Tribune)
Melo curses out friend for pot arrest in his car (ESPN)

Friday, July 14, 2006

Hot Sports Wife/Ex/Girlfriend of the Day


May we present...

The Future (?) Mrs. Joe Mauer!!

It's a Google World

Thanks to Steve Rushin's column in the latest SI, I now must do this.

According to the All-Knowing, the cities that are searching the most for the following terms are:

baseball: St. Louis
steroids: Miami
HGH: Lexington, Kentucky (?)

football: Edinburgh, UK (I Meant American Football! Atlanta was the top U.S. City.)
...ok, then, NFL: Pittsburgh
motorcycle accident: Nashville

basketball: Raleigh
NBA: Hangzhou, China (Irvine, California #1 in the U.S.)
overpaid: London, UK (Chicago on top in the U.S.)

hockey: Winnipeg (No U.S. city in the Top 10...figures.)
NHL: Calgary (Ditto on the U.S.)
dentistry: Indianapolis

boxing: Brisbane, Australia (San Diego was tops in the U.S.)
Tonya Harding: Portland (as in "The Pride of...")
gambling: Baltimore

soccer: Sydney, Austrailia (Dallas was tops in the U.S.)
Freddy Adu: Edinburgh, UK (Washington D.C. in the U.S.)
sleep: Seattle (C'mon, that was rigged, right?)

golf: Phoenix (No way!)
Michelle Wie: Honolulu
plaid pants: San Francisco

bicycling: Madison, Wisconsin
Lance Armstrong: Austin, Texas
blood doping: Melbourne, Australia (Toronto is the closest to a U.S. city.)

bowling: St. Louis
beer: St. Louis (Nice combo.)
pizza: Austin, Texas

auto racing: Indianapolis
Danica Patrick: Indianapolis
death: St. Louis (Too much bowling and beer?)

tennis: Melbourne, Australia (Atlanta highest in the U.S.)
Anna Kournikova: New Delhi, India (No U.S. city in the Top 10?)
Ashley Harkleroad: Melbourne, Australia (Atlanta again #1 in America.)

fishing: Tampa
boating accident: Seattle
lying: Philadelphia

lacrosse: LaCrosse, Wisconsin (That doesn't count. #2 was Syracuse.)
violent crime: Washington, D.C.

gymnastics: Seattle
Nadia Comaneci: Seattle
Mary Lou Retton: Bucharest, Romania (Now that makes sense.)

rugby: Auckland, New Zealand (No U.S. city in the Top 10.)
rugby shirt: Bristol, UK (U.S. not representin'.)

badminton: Makati, Philipines (Shockingly, no U.S. city in the Top 10.)
Gay Games: Chicago

croquet: Auckland, New Zealand (Portland was tops in the U.S.)
field hockey: Norfolk, Virginia

Seriously, I could go on forever. This is really addicting, but I will stop there...for now.

Link like a champion


Fans unconcerned by player's call of nature (Reuters)
Stadium pat-down suit back in court (St. Petersburg Times)
Wie near dead last in her 5th PGA event (MSNBC)
Roethlisberger says he won't do safety ads (Houston Chronicle)
Thurman suspended (Cincinnati Enquirer)
Patrick: NASCAR's Too Big to Ignore (Forbes)
Bengals Pick Ex-Cavalier A. Brooks (Washington Post)

Thursday, July 13, 2006

I just thought this was funny

A headline/link on Yahoo!:

Ty Wigginton: Will See More Action at Third Base

Well, good for him! High fives for everyone!

Hot Sports Wife/Ex/Girlfriend of the Day


May we present...

Mrs. Javy Lopez!!

ESPY Spoiler

For those of you that JUST CAN'T WAIT...

The geniuses (and we are not being sarcastic) over at The Sports Blog at the Polo Grounds have your ESPY coverage. A FULL TWO DAYS BEFORE IT AIRS! Whooo-hoo! Eh.

The ESPY's. What exactly is the point? The point is that it gives these egomaniacal people one more reason to love themselves and for ESPN it gives them a reason to have people who love awards shows watch their channel. It is quite amazing how many people will watch an awards show for the mere fact that it's an awards show. Some people would watch an awards show for anything. Coming up: The Groundskeeper awards! Stay Tuned for The Coal Miner Awards! Shows like this would probably get better ratings than the NHL or Arena Football. And we all know if NASCAR had an awards show, it would outdraw the Super Bowl for viewership.

Anyway, if you must know who won what (with pictures), click HERE. Although why you would want to know anything other than what Danica Patrick was looking like (which we already showed you), is beyond us.

WNBA, please go away

From the Washington Post --

East Finally Wins WNBA All-Star Game

From Sports Fraud --

Who gives a rat's ass?

Why do I even bring this up then, you may ask yourself and others?

Well, attached to this article is a picture of a WNBA player making out with her husband.

WOULD YOU EVER SEE THIS ON THE COURT OF AN NBA ALL-STAR GAME? The answer is NO. Because we don't need to show proof that not all of the players are homosexual in the NBA. Not that there is anything wrong with that, of course. However, if women want to be treated with the same respect that the men do when it comes to professional sports, then knock this shit off.

As for the game itself, the score was 98-82. If you put together a NCAA All-Star game, or dare I say a High School All-Star Game, I would lay big money that they would score more points than the "All-Stars" of the WNBA. I would also put up even money that a handpicked team of Chicago High School players would beat a team of WNBA All-Stars. I have seen these guys play and they would hand these women their asses on a platter. Which is, of course, exactly what about 70% of the women in the audience (and on the benches too I believe) would like to have after the game.

I am all for women having equal rights, but since when do equal rights mean we have to be force-fed something that just IS NOT entertaining to a majority of the population. Oh, yeah, we just had that with the World Cup of Football/Soccer. Don't get me started there.

The announced attendance was 12,998, nearly 6,000 fewer than were at the game when it was at the Garden in 1999 and 2003. Finally it appears some people are getting that the WNBA sucks. No lesbian reference intended.

Land of Link-in

Stop doing that!

83-year-old sets record (Sioux Falls Canaries)
Man charged with stabbing Ravens LB Green (Sports Illustrated)
Moss: I wanted to be a Falcon or a Raven (FOX Sports)
Youth coach hid his status as sex offender (Worcester Telegram)
Vet: Barbaro is not about to be 'put down' (USA Today)
Regrets? Zidane has none (Toronto Globe & Mail)
Schumacher rules out NASCAR as an option after F1 (Reuters)

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

The worst day in sports

Today is Wednesday - the day after the All-Star Game - the worst day in sports. No baseball in the middle of the season. No stats to check. No games to watch. No nothin'. The two days prior to the worst day in sports are only somewhat liveable in that there is the (yechh) Home Run Derby and the All-Star Game. They are merely a mirage to fool us into thinking we are watching baseball, but today, alas, we have nothing.

One question though. Why isn't the Future's Game on today? Why is it on Sunday, when you know, we are watching actual Major League Baseball games? I didn't even see the Future's Game because I was watching actual MLB games. Now I have nothing.

As for the ASG, if it really "COUNTS", why is it that the managers each spent a full half-inning speaking to TV foofs Joe Buck and Tim McCarver? Ozzie Guillen was quoted as saying he was going to manage like it was game seven of the World Series. Ummm, I hope Ozzie isn't talking to the foofs in the booth for a full half-inning in game seven, should the Sox ever reach it.

Oh well, maybe I can just nap until tomorrow and pretend this day never happened.

UPDATE: I woke up from my nap to discover the Triple-A All-Star Game is on TV. I can put away the straight razor now...phew.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Home Run Derby: The Line

For all of you sick, twisted individuals who will bet on anything:

From --
Lance Berkman 5/1
Miguel Cabrera 5/1
Miguel Tejada 11/2
Ryan Howard 11/2
David Ortiz 6/1
David Wright 13/2
Troy Glaus 12/1
Jermaine Dye 13/1

If you really want to bet on this, the All-Star Game, anything else for that matter, do it here.

Good Luck, Scumbags...we're rooting for you!

Wiffle Ball Rules!

Thanks to enterprising and soon-to-be Pulitzer winner Clay Travis over at CBS Sportsline, I was made aware that there are actual rules to Wiffle Ball. This I did not know. As Clay points out, in the actual rules, you do not have runners, thus you cannot throw the ball at someone to make an out. Who made up these rules?! What's the fun in that?

I felt it was my duty to let everyone who did not stumble across the column know about this. (By the way, you can actually purchase these hats here. A dude needs some serious stones to actually wear one though.)

For the official rules, go here.

For Clay's column, go here.